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Banned from the co-op - Didn't like shopping there anyway.
Yesterday I was at my local CO-OP buying a large bag of Purina dog
food for my loyal pet and was in the checkout queue when a woman
behind me asked if I had a dog.
What did she think I had an elephant? So, since I'm retired and have
little to do, on impulse I told her that no, I didn't have a dog, I
was starting the Purina Diet again. I added that I probably
shouldn’t, because I ended up in hospital last time, but that I'd lost
2 stones before I woke up in intensive care with tubes coming out of
most of my orifices and IVs in both arms.
I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way
that it works is to load your pockets with Purina nuggets and simply
eat one or two every time you feel hungry. The food is nutritionally
complete so it works well and I was going to try it again.
(I have to mention here that practically everyone in the queue was now
enthralled with my story.)
Horrified, she asked me if I ended up in intensive care because the
dog food poisoned me. I told her no, I stepped off a curb to sniff
an Irish Setter's arse and a car hit us both.
I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack he was
laughing so hard.
I'm now banned from the Co-op.
Better watch what you ask retired people.
They have all the time in the world to think of daft things to say.
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Yesterday I was at my local CO-OP buying a large bag of Purina dog
food for my loyal pet and was in the checkout queue when a woman
behind me asked if I had a dog.
What did she think I had an elephant? So, since I'm retired and have
little to do, on impulse I told her that no, I didn't have a dog, I
was starting the Purina Diet again. I added that I probably
shouldn’t, because I ended up in hospital last time, but that I'd lost
2 stones before I woke up in intensive care with tubes coming out of
most of my orifices and IVs in both arms.
I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way
that it works is to load your pockets with Purina nuggets and simply
eat one or two every time you feel hungry. The food is nutritionally
complete so it works well and I was going to try it again.
(I have to mention here that practically everyone in the queue was now
enthralled with my story.)
Horrified, she asked me if I ended up in intensive care because the
dog food poisoned me. I told her no, I stepped off a curb to sniff
an Irish Setter's arse and a car hit us both.
I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack he was
laughing so hard.
I'm now banned from the Co-op.
Better watch what you ask retired people.
They have all the time in the world to think of daft things to say.
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