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The Perfect Marriage

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  • The Perfect Marriage

    1. Two times a week we go to a nice restaurant, have a
    Little beverage, good food and companionship
    She goes on Tuesdays; I go on Fridays.

    2. We also sleep in separate beds.
    Hers is in California , and mine is in Texas .

    3. I take my wife everywhere....
    But she keeps finding her way back.

    4. I asked my wife where she wanted to go for our anniversary.
    "Somewhere I haven't been in a long time!" she said.
    So I suggested the kitchen.

    5. We always hold hands. If I let go, she shops.

    6. She has an electric blender, electric
    Toaster and electric bread maker.
    She said "There are too many gadgets, and no place
    To sit down!" So I bought her an electric chair.

    7. My wife told me the car wasn't running well
    Because there was water in the carburetor.
    I asked where the car was.. She told me, "In the lake."

    8. She got a mud pack, and looked great for two days.
    Then the mud fell off.

    9. She ran after the garbage truck, yelling, "Am I too late
    For the garbage?" The driver said, "No, jump in!"

    10.. Remember: Marriage is the number one cause of divorce.

    11. I married Miss Right. I just didn't know her
    First name was Always.

    12. I haven't spoken to my wife in 18 months
    I don't like to interrupt her.

    13. The last fight was my fault though.
    My wife asked, "What's on the TV?"
    I said, "Dust!"
    Still Searching,
    Dick Whittington
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