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I'm not surprised this country is done for

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  • I'm not surprised this country is done for

    UNIVERSITY CHALLENGE (BBC2)
    Jeremy Paxman: What is another name for 'cherrypickers' and 'cheesemongers'?
    Contestant: Homosexuals.
    Paxman: No. They're regiments in the British Army who will be very upset with you.

    BEG, BORROW OR STEAL (BBC2)
    Jamie Theakston: Where do you think Cambridge University is?
    Contestant: Geography isn't my strong point.
    Theakston: There's a clue in the title.
    Contestant: Leicester?

    BBC NORFOLK
    Stewart White: Who had a worldwide hit with What A Wonderful World?
    Contestant: I don't know.
    White: I'll give you some clues: what do you call the part between your hand and your elbow?
    Contestant: Arm.
    White: Correct. And if you're not weak, you're...?
    Contestant: Strong.
    White: Correct - and what was Lord Mountbatten's first name?
    Contestant: Louis.
    White: Well, there we are then. So who had a worldwide hit with the song What A Wonderful World?
    Contestant: Frank Sinatra?

    LATE SHOW (BBC MIDLANDS)
    Alex Trelinski: What is the capital of Italy ?
    Contestant: France
    Trelinski: France is another country. Try again.
    Contestant: Oh, um, Benidorm.
    Trelinski: Wrong, sorry, let's try another question. In which country is the Parthenon?
    Contestant: Sorry, I don't know.
    Trelinski: Just guess a country then.
    Contestant: Paris?

    THE WEAKEST LINK (BBC2)
    Anne Robinson:- Oscar Wilde, Adolf Hitler and Jeffrey Archer have all written books about their experiences in what:- Prison, or the Conservative Party?
    Contestant: The Conservative Party?

    BEACON RADIO ( WOLVERHAMPTON )
    DJ Mark: For 10 Pounds , what is the nationality of the Pope?
    Ruth from Rowley Regis: I think I know that one.. Is it Jewish?

    UNIVERSITY CHALLENGE
    Bamber Gascoigne: What was Gandhi's first name?
    Contestant: Goosey?

    GWR FM ( Bristol )
    Presenter: What happened in Dallas on November 22, 1963?
    Contestant: I don't know, I wasn't watching it then.

    RTE RADIO 2FM ( IRELAND )
    Presenter: What is the name of the long- running TV comedy show about pensioners: Last Of The .?
    Caller: Mohicans.

    PHIL WOOD SHOW (BBC RADIO MANCHESTER )
    Phil: What's 11 squared?
    Contestant: I don't know.
    Phil: I'll give you a clue. It's two ones with a two in the middle.
    Contestant: Is it five?

    RICHARD AND JUDY Show
    Q: Which American actor was married to Nicole Kidman?
    A: Forrest Gump.

    RICHARD AND JUDY
    Leslie: On which street did Sherlock Holmes live?
    Contestant: Er .
    Leslie: He makes bread .
    Contestant: Er . ..
    Leslie: He makes cakes .
    Contestant: Kipling Street ?

    LINCS FM PHONE-IN
    Presenter: Which is the largest Spanish-speaking country in the world?
    Contestant: Barcelona
    Presenter: I was really after the name of a country.
    Contestant: I'm sorry, I don't know the names of any countries in Spain ..

    NATIONAL LOTTERY (BBC1)
    Question: What is the world's largest continent?
    Contestant: The Pacific?

    ROCK FM (PRESTON)
    Presenter: Name a film starring Bob Hoskins that is also the name of a famous painting by Leonardo Da Vinci.
    Contestant: Who Framed Roger Rabbit?

    THE BIGGEST GAME IN TOWN (ITV)
    Steve Le Fevre: What was signed, to bring World War I to an end in 1918?
    Contestant: Magna Carta?

    JAMES O'BRIEN SHOW (LBC)
    O'Brien: How many kings of England have been called Henry?
    Contestant: Er, well, I know there was a Henry the Eighth ... er... ... er... three?

    CHRIS SEARLE SHOW (BBC RADIO BRISTOL )
    Searle: In which European country is Mount Etna ?
    Caller: Japan?
    Searle: I did say which European country, so in case you didn't hear that, I can let you try again.
    Caller: Er... Mexico ?

    PAUL WAPPAT (BBC RADIO NEWCASTLE )
    Paul Wappat: How long did the Six-Day War between Egypt and Israel last?
    Contestant (after long pause): Fourteen days?

    DARYL DENHAM'S DRIVETIME (VIRGIN RADIO)
    Daryl Denham: In which country would you spend shekels?
    Contestant: Holland ?
    Denham: Try the next letter of the alphabet.
    Contestant: Iceland ? Ireland ?
    Denham (helpfully): It's a bad line. Did you say Israel ?
    Contestant: No.

    PHIL WOOD SHOW (BBC GMR)
    Wood: What 'K' could be described as the Islamic Bible?
    Contestant: Er . .. .
    Wood: It's got two syllables .. . . Kor . . ..
    Contestant: Blimey?
    Wood: Ha ha ha ha, no. The past participle of run . .
    Contestant: (Silence)
    Wood: OK, try it another way. Today I run, yesterday I . .. .
    Contestant: Walked?

    THE VAULT
    Melanie Sykes: What is the name given to the condition where the sufferer can fall asleep at any time?
    Contestant: Nostalgia?

    LUNCHTIME SHOW (BRMB)
    Presenter: What religion was Guy Fawkes?
    Contestant: Jewish.
    Presenter: That's close enough.

    STEVE WRIGHT IN THE AFTERNOON (BBC RADIO 2)
    Wright: Johnny Weissmuller died on this day. Which jungle-swinging character clad only in a loincloth did he play?
    Contestant: Jesus.
    If it aint broke, keep goin' till it is.

  • #2
    I have tears...
    Do you know that, with a 50 character limit, it's

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    • #3
      Some crackers there mate.
      If its not broke don't fix it.

      Comment


      • #4
        Originally posted by GRASSMAN View Post
        UNIVERSITY CHALLENGE
        Bamber Gascoigne: What was Gandhi's first name?
        Contestant: Goosey?
        awesome
        Non intercooled nothing.

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