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Don't Fart in Bed
> >
> > If this story doesn't make you cry from laughing so hard, let me know
and
> > we'll send someone right over to check your pulse.
> >
> > This is a story about a couple who had been happily married for years.
> >
> > The only friction in their marriage was the husband's habit of farting
> > loudly every morning when he awoke. The noise would wake his wife and
the
> > smell would make her eyes water and make her gasp for air.
> >
> > Every morning she would plead with him to stop ripping them off because
it
> > was making her sick. He told her he couldn't stop it and that it was
> > perfectly natural.
> >
> > She told him to see a doctor; she was concerned that one day he would
blow
> > his guts out.
> >
> > The years went by and he continued to rip them out!
> >
> > Then one Thanksgiving morning as she was preparing the turkey for dinner
> > and he was upstairs sound asleep, she looked at the bowl where she had
put
> > the turkey innards and neck, gizzard, liver and all the spare parts and
a
> > malicious thought came to her.
> >
> > She took the bowl and went upstairs where her husband was sound asleep
> and,
> > gently pulling back the bed covers, she pulled back the elastic
waistband
> > of his underpants and emptied the bowl of turkey guts into his shorts.
> >
> > Some time later she heard her husband waken with his usual trumpeting
> which
> > was followed by a blood curdling scream and the sound of frantic
footsteps
> > as he ran into the bathroom.
> >
> > The wife could hardly control herself as she rolled on the floor
laughing,
> > tears in her eyes! After years of torture she reckoned she had got him
> back
> > pretty good.
> >
> > About twenty minutes later, her husband came downstairs in his
> bloodstained
> > underpants with a look of horror on his face. She bit her lip as she
asked
> > him what was the matter.
> >
> > He said, "Honey, you were right. All these years you have warned me and
I
> > didn't listen to you."
> >
> > "What do you mean?" asked his wife.
> >
> > "Well, you always told me that one day I would end up farting my guts
out,
> > and today it finally happened. But by the grace of God, some Vaseline,
and
> > these two fingers, I think I got most of them back in."
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> > * * * * * * * * * * * *
> >
> > If this story doesn't make you cry from laughing so hard, let me know
and
> > we'll send someone right over to check your pulse.
> >
> > This is a story about a couple who had been happily married for years.
> >
> > The only friction in their marriage was the husband's habit of farting
> > loudly every morning when he awoke. The noise would wake his wife and
the
> > smell would make her eyes water and make her gasp for air.
> >
> > Every morning she would plead with him to stop ripping them off because
it
> > was making her sick. He told her he couldn't stop it and that it was
> > perfectly natural.
> >
> > She told him to see a doctor; she was concerned that one day he would
blow
> > his guts out.
> >
> > The years went by and he continued to rip them out!
> >
> > Then one Thanksgiving morning as she was preparing the turkey for dinner
> > and he was upstairs sound asleep, she looked at the bowl where she had
put
> > the turkey innards and neck, gizzard, liver and all the spare parts and
a
> > malicious thought came to her.
> >
> > She took the bowl and went upstairs where her husband was sound asleep
> and,
> > gently pulling back the bed covers, she pulled back the elastic
waistband
> > of his underpants and emptied the bowl of turkey guts into his shorts.
> >
> > Some time later she heard her husband waken with his usual trumpeting
> which
> > was followed by a blood curdling scream and the sound of frantic
footsteps
> > as he ran into the bathroom.
> >
> > The wife could hardly control herself as she rolled on the floor
laughing,
> > tears in her eyes! After years of torture she reckoned she had got him
> back
> > pretty good.
> >
> > About twenty minutes later, her husband came downstairs in his
> bloodstained
> > underpants with a look of horror on his face. She bit her lip as she
asked
> > him what was the matter.
> >
> > He said, "Honey, you were right. All these years you have warned me and
I
> > didn't listen to you."
> >
> > "What do you mean?" asked his wife.
> >
> > "Well, you always told me that one day I would end up farting my guts
out,
> > and today it finally happened. But by the grace of God, some Vaseline,
and
> > these two fingers, I think I got most of them back in."
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> > * * * * * * * * * * * *