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The Twelve Days of Midwinter Festival
(A Politically-Correct Recitation)
On the twelfth day of the Eurocentrically-imposed midwinter
festival, my potential acquaintance gave to me:
TWELVE males reclaiming their inner warrior through ritual drumming,
ELEVEN pipers piping (plus the 18-member pit orchestra made up of
members in good standing of the Musicians Equity Union as called
for in their union contract even though they will not be asked to
play a note),
TEN melanin-deprived testosterone-poisoned scions of the
patriarchal ruling class system leaping,
NINE persons engaged in rhythmic self-expression,
EIGHT economically disadvantaged female persons stealing
milk-products from enslaved Bovines,
SEVEN endangered swans swimming on protected wetlands,
SIX enslaved Fowl producing stolen non-human animal
products,
FIVE golden symbols of culturally sanctioned enforced domestic
servitude,
(NOTE: after a member of the Animal Liberation Front threatened to
throw red paint at my computer, the calling birds, French hens and
partridge have been reintroduced to their native habitat. To
avoid further animal enslavement, the remaining gift
package has been revised.)
FOUR hours of recorded whale songs,
THREE deconstructionist poets,
TWO Sierra Club calendars printed on recycled processed tree carcasses,
And a Spotted Owl activist chained to an old-growth pear tree.
A merry Eurocentrically-imposed midwinter festival to you all!
Merry Christmas
Happy Chanukah
Good Kwanzaa
Blessed Yule
(unless otherwise prohibited by regional law) *
* Unless, of course, you are suffering from Seasonally Affected
Disorder (SAD). If this be the case, please substitute this
gratuitous call for celebration with suggestion that you have a
thoroughly adequate day.
(A Politically-Correct Recitation)
On the twelfth day of the Eurocentrically-imposed midwinter
festival, my potential acquaintance gave to me:
TWELVE males reclaiming their inner warrior through ritual drumming,
ELEVEN pipers piping (plus the 18-member pit orchestra made up of
members in good standing of the Musicians Equity Union as called
for in their union contract even though they will not be asked to
play a note),
TEN melanin-deprived testosterone-poisoned scions of the
patriarchal ruling class system leaping,
NINE persons engaged in rhythmic self-expression,
EIGHT economically disadvantaged female persons stealing
milk-products from enslaved Bovines,
SEVEN endangered swans swimming on protected wetlands,
SIX enslaved Fowl producing stolen non-human animal
products,
FIVE golden symbols of culturally sanctioned enforced domestic
servitude,
(NOTE: after a member of the Animal Liberation Front threatened to
throw red paint at my computer, the calling birds, French hens and
partridge have been reintroduced to their native habitat. To
avoid further animal enslavement, the remaining gift
package has been revised.)
FOUR hours of recorded whale songs,
THREE deconstructionist poets,
TWO Sierra Club calendars printed on recycled processed tree carcasses,
And a Spotted Owl activist chained to an old-growth pear tree.
A merry Eurocentrically-imposed midwinter festival to you all!
Merry Christmas
Happy Chanukah
Good Kwanzaa
Blessed Yule
(unless otherwise prohibited by regional law) *
* Unless, of course, you are suffering from Seasonally Affected
Disorder (SAD). If this be the case, please substitute this
gratuitous call for celebration with suggestion that you have a
thoroughly adequate day.