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  • For all golfers & male chauvinist

    Growing Old

    It's important for men to remember that, as women grow older, it becomes
    harder for them to maintain the same quality of housekeeping as when
    they were younger. When you notice this, try not to yell at them. Some
    are oversensitive, and there's nothing worse than an oversensitive
    woman.

    My name is Jim. Let me relate how I handled the situation with my wife,
    Peggy.

    When I retired a few years ago, it became necessary for Peggy to get a
    full-time job along with her part-time job, both for extra income and
    for the health benefits that we needed.

    Shortly after she started working, I noticed she was beginning to show
    her age. I usually get home from the golf club about the same time she
    gets home from work.

    Although she knows how hungry I am, she almost always says she has to
    rest for half an hour or so before she starts dinner. I don't yell
    either. Instead, I tell her to take her time and just wake me when she
    gets dinner on the table. I generally have lunch in the Men's Grill at
    the club so eating out is not reasonable. I'm ready for some home-cooked
    grub when I hit that door.

    She used to do the dishes as soon as we finished eating. But now it's
    not unusual for them to sit on the table for several hours after dinner.
    I do what I can by diplomatically reminding her several times each
    evening that they won't clean themselves. I know she really appreciates
    this, as it does seem to motivate her to get them done before she goes
    to bed.

    Another symptom of aging is complaining, I think. For example she will
    say that it is difficult for her to find time to pay the monthly bills
    during her lunch hour. But, boys, we take 'em for better or worse, so I
    just smile and offer encouragement. I tell her to stretch it out over
    two or even three days. That way she won't have to rush so much. I also
    remind her that missing lunch completely now and then wouldn't hurt her
    any (if you know what I mean). I like to think tact is one of my strong
    points.

    When doing simple jobs, she seems to think she needs more rest periods.
    She had to take a break when she was only half finished mowing the yard.
    I try not to make a scene. I'm a fair man. I tell her to fix herself a
    nice, big, cold glass of freshly squeezed lemonade and just sit for a
    while. And, as long as she is making one for herself, she may as well
    make one for me too.

    I know that I probably look like a saint in the way I support Peggy. I'm
    not saying that showing this much consideration is easy. Many men will
    find it difficult. Some will find it impossible! Nobody knows better
    than I do how frustrating women get as they get older.

    However, guys, even if you just use a little more tact and less
    criticism of your aging wife because of this article, I will consider
    that writing it was well worthwhile. After all, we are put on this earth
    to help each other.

    Signed, Jim

    EDITOR'S NOTE:

    Jim died suddenly on May 27 of a perforated rectum. The police report
    says he was found with a Calloway extra long 50-inch Big Bertha Driver
    II golf club jammed up his rear end, with barely 5 inches of grip
    showing and a sledge hammer laying nearby.

    His wife Peggy was arrested and charged with murder. The all-woman jury
    took only 15 minutes to find her Not Guilty, accepting her defence that
    Jim somehow, without looking, accidentally sat down on his golf club.
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