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Two Aberdonian farmers, Tam and Shuie, are sitting in the Farmers bar, drinking beer. Tam turns to Shuie and says, "Ye ken fit? I'm tired o'gan through life withoot an education. I'morn, I think I'll go doon to the community college and sign up for some classes." Shuie thinks it's a good idea, and the two leave. The next day Tam goes down to the college and meets the Lecturer, who signs him up for the four basic classes:
Maths, English, History, and Logic.
"Logic?" Tam says. "Fit's at?"
The Lecturer says, "I'll show you. Do you own a Strimmer?"
"Aye"
"Then logically because you own a Strimmer, I think that you have a garden."
"That's true, I dee huv a Garden."
"I'm not done," the Lecturer says. "Because you have a Garden, I think logically that you would have a house."
"Aye, I dee huv a hoose."
"And because you have a house, I think that you might logically have a family."
"I huv a femily."
"I'm not done yet. Because you have a family, then logically you must have a wife."
"Yer nae wrang!! I dee huv a wife!!"
"And because you have a wife, then logically you must be a heterosexual."
"I am a heterosexual. That's amazin'!! You were able to find a' that oot, jist 'cos I huv a strimmer." Excited to take the class now, Tam shakes the Lecturers's hand and leaves to meet Shuie at the pub. He tells Shuie about his classes, how he is signed up for Math, English, History and Logic.
"Logic?" Shuie says, "Fit's at?"
Tam says, "I'll show ye. Do you huv a strimmer?"
"No."
"Well then, yer a poof."
Maths, English, History, and Logic.
"Logic?" Tam says. "Fit's at?"
The Lecturer says, "I'll show you. Do you own a Strimmer?"
"Aye"
"Then logically because you own a Strimmer, I think that you have a garden."
"That's true, I dee huv a Garden."
"I'm not done," the Lecturer says. "Because you have a Garden, I think logically that you would have a house."
"Aye, I dee huv a hoose."
"And because you have a house, I think that you might logically have a family."
"I huv a femily."
"I'm not done yet. Because you have a family, then logically you must have a wife."
"Yer nae wrang!! I dee huv a wife!!"
"And because you have a wife, then logically you must be a heterosexual."
"I am a heterosexual. That's amazin'!! You were able to find a' that oot, jist 'cos I huv a strimmer." Excited to take the class now, Tam shakes the Lecturers's hand and leaves to meet Shuie at the pub. He tells Shuie about his classes, how he is signed up for Math, English, History and Logic.
"Logic?" Shuie says, "Fit's at?"
Tam says, "I'll show ye. Do you huv a strimmer?"
"No."
"Well then, yer a poof."
funny 
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