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>A typical English 20 something, having split from his latest girlfriend,
> >decided to take a vacation. He booked himself on a Caribbean cruise and
> >proceeded to have the time of his life, that is, until the ship sank. He
> >found himself on an island with no other people, no supplies, nothing,
only
> >bananas and coconuts.
> >
> >After about four months, he is lying on the beach one day when the most
> >gorgeous woman he has ever seen rows up to the shore. In disbelief, he
> >asks,
> >"Where did you come from? How did you get here?"
> >
> >She replies, "I rowed from the other side of the island. I landed here
when
> >my cruise ship sank."
> >
> >"Amazing," he notes. "You were really lucky to have a row boat wash up
with
> >you."
> >
> >"Oh, this thing?" explains the woman. "I made the boat out of raw
material
> >I
> >found on the island. The oars were whittled from gum tree branches. I
wove
> >the bottom from palm branches, and the sides and stern came from a
> >Eucalyptus tree."
> >
> >"But, where did you get the tools?"
> >
> >"Oh, that was no problem," replied the woman. "On the south side of the
> >island, a very unusual stratum of alluvial rock is exposed. I found if I
> >fired it to a certain temperature in my kiln, it melted into ductile
iron.
> >I used that for tools and used the tools to make the hardware."
> >
> >The guy is stunned.
> >
> >"Let's row over to my place," she says.
> >
> >After a few minutes of rowing, she docks the boat at a small wharf. As
the
> >man looks to shore, he nearly falls off the boat. Before him is a stone
> >walk
> >leading to an exquisite bungalow painted in blue and white. While the
woman
> >ties up the rowboat with an expertly woven hemp rope, the man can only
> >stare
> >ahead, dumb struck. As they walk into the house, she says casually, "It's
> >not much but I call it home. Sit down, please. Would you like a drink?"
> >
> >"No! No thank you," he blurts out, still dazed. "I can't take another
drop
> >of coconut juice."
> >
> >"It's not coconut juice," winks the woman. "I have a still. How would you
> >like a Pina Colada?"
> >
> >Trying to hide his continued amazement, the man accepts, and they sit
down
> >on her couch to talk. After they have exchanged their stories, the woman
> >announces, "I'm going to slip into something more comfortable. Would you
> >like to take a shower and shave? There is a razor upstairs in the
bathroom
> >cabinet." No longer questioning anything, the man goes into the bathroom.
> >There, in the cabinet, a razor made from a piece of tortoise bone. Two
> >shells honed to a hollow ground edge are fastened on to its end inside a
> >swivel mechanism.
> >
> >"This woman is amazing," he muses. "What next?"
> >
> >When he returns, she greets him wearing nothing but vines, strategically
> >positioned, and smelling faintly of gardenias. She beckons for him to sit
> >down next to her. "Tell me," she begins suggestively, slithering closer
to
> >him, "We've been out here for many months. You've been lonely. There's
> >something I'm sure you really feel like doing right now, something you've
> >been longing for?" She stares into his eyes ..
> >
> >He can't believe what he's hearing. "You mean . . " he swallows excitedly
> >and tears start to form in his eyes..
> >
> >
> >
> >.
> >(Keep going)
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >"Don't tell me you've got Sky Sports as well
> >decided to take a vacation. He booked himself on a Caribbean cruise and
> >proceeded to have the time of his life, that is, until the ship sank. He
> >found himself on an island with no other people, no supplies, nothing,
only
> >bananas and coconuts.
> >
> >After about four months, he is lying on the beach one day when the most
> >gorgeous woman he has ever seen rows up to the shore. In disbelief, he
> >asks,
> >"Where did you come from? How did you get here?"
> >
> >She replies, "I rowed from the other side of the island. I landed here
when
> >my cruise ship sank."
> >
> >"Amazing," he notes. "You were really lucky to have a row boat wash up
with
> >you."
> >
> >"Oh, this thing?" explains the woman. "I made the boat out of raw
material
> >I
> >found on the island. The oars were whittled from gum tree branches. I
wove
> >the bottom from palm branches, and the sides and stern came from a
> >Eucalyptus tree."
> >
> >"But, where did you get the tools?"
> >
> >"Oh, that was no problem," replied the woman. "On the south side of the
> >island, a very unusual stratum of alluvial rock is exposed. I found if I
> >fired it to a certain temperature in my kiln, it melted into ductile
iron.
> >I used that for tools and used the tools to make the hardware."
> >
> >The guy is stunned.
> >
> >"Let's row over to my place," she says.
> >
> >After a few minutes of rowing, she docks the boat at a small wharf. As
the
> >man looks to shore, he nearly falls off the boat. Before him is a stone
> >walk
> >leading to an exquisite bungalow painted in blue and white. While the
woman
> >ties up the rowboat with an expertly woven hemp rope, the man can only
> >stare
> >ahead, dumb struck. As they walk into the house, she says casually, "It's
> >not much but I call it home. Sit down, please. Would you like a drink?"
> >
> >"No! No thank you," he blurts out, still dazed. "I can't take another
drop
> >of coconut juice."
> >
> >"It's not coconut juice," winks the woman. "I have a still. How would you
> >like a Pina Colada?"
> >
> >Trying to hide his continued amazement, the man accepts, and they sit
down
> >on her couch to talk. After they have exchanged their stories, the woman
> >announces, "I'm going to slip into something more comfortable. Would you
> >like to take a shower and shave? There is a razor upstairs in the
bathroom
> >cabinet." No longer questioning anything, the man goes into the bathroom.
> >There, in the cabinet, a razor made from a piece of tortoise bone. Two
> >shells honed to a hollow ground edge are fastened on to its end inside a
> >swivel mechanism.
> >
> >"This woman is amazing," he muses. "What next?"
> >
> >When he returns, she greets him wearing nothing but vines, strategically
> >positioned, and smelling faintly of gardenias. She beckons for him to sit
> >down next to her. "Tell me," she begins suggestively, slithering closer
to
> >him, "We've been out here for many months. You've been lonely. There's
> >something I'm sure you really feel like doing right now, something you've
> >been longing for?" She stares into his eyes ..
> >
> >He can't believe what he's hearing. "You mean . . " he swallows excitedly
> >and tears start to form in his eyes..
> >
> >
> >
> >.
> >(Keep going)
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >"Don't tell me you've got Sky Sports as well