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I never quite figured out why the sexual urge of men and women differ so
much. And I never have figured out the
whole Venus and Mars thing. I have never figured out why men think with
their head and women with their heart.
FOR EXAMPLE:
One evening last week, my girlfriend and I were getting into bed. Well,
the passion starts to heat up and she eventually says, "I don't feel
like it, I just want you to hold me." I said, "WHAT??!! What was that?!"
So she says the words that every boyfriend on the planet dreads to
hear..."You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman it's
enough for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man."
She responded to my puzzled look by saying, "Can't you just love me for
who I am and not what I do for you in
the bedroom?" Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I
went to sleep.
The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with
her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big,
unnamed department store. I walked around with her while she tried on
several different very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which one
to take, so I told her we'd just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to
compliment her new clothes, so I said, "Lets get a pair for each
outfit."
We went on to the jewellery department where she picked out a pair of
diamond earrings. Let me tell you...she was so excited. She must have
thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think she was
testing me because she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn't even
know how to play tennis.
I think I threw her for a loop when I said, "That's fine honey." She was
almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement. Smiling
with excited anticipation, she finally said, "I think this is all dear,
let's go to the cashier."
I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, "No honey, I don't
feel like it." Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped
with a baffled, "WHAT?" I then said, "Honey! I just want you to HOLD
this stuff for a while. You're just not in touch with my financial needs
as a man it's enough for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman."
And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me, I added,
"Why can't you just love me for who I am and not for the things I buy
you?"
Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either....but at least that bi*ch
knows I'm smarter than her....!
much. And I never have figured out the
whole Venus and Mars thing. I have never figured out why men think with
their head and women with their heart.
FOR EXAMPLE:
One evening last week, my girlfriend and I were getting into bed. Well,
the passion starts to heat up and she eventually says, "I don't feel
like it, I just want you to hold me." I said, "WHAT??!! What was that?!"
So she says the words that every boyfriend on the planet dreads to
hear..."You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman it's
enough for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man."
She responded to my puzzled look by saying, "Can't you just love me for
who I am and not what I do for you in
the bedroom?" Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I
went to sleep.
The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with
her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big,
unnamed department store. I walked around with her while she tried on
several different very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which one
to take, so I told her we'd just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to
compliment her new clothes, so I said, "Lets get a pair for each
outfit."
We went on to the jewellery department where she picked out a pair of
diamond earrings. Let me tell you...she was so excited. She must have
thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think she was
testing me because she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn't even
know how to play tennis.
I think I threw her for a loop when I said, "That's fine honey." She was
almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement. Smiling
with excited anticipation, she finally said, "I think this is all dear,
let's go to the cashier."
I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, "No honey, I don't
feel like it." Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped
with a baffled, "WHAT?" I then said, "Honey! I just want you to HOLD
this stuff for a while. You're just not in touch with my financial needs
as a man it's enough for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman."
And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me, I added,
"Why can't you just love me for who I am and not for the things I buy
you?"
Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either....but at least that bi*ch
knows I'm smarter than her....!
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