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Michael Caine
Back in the Swinging Sixties, Michael Caine is holding a big showbiz
party in his s****y new house.
Everyone who's anyone is there - top stars from the worlds of movies and music, fashion and art.
There's a feed of pints, the best wines that money can buy, oysters,
champagne, Lennon and McCartney are helping themselves at the bar,
Jim Morrison and his band are sitting on the couch singing "Light My Fire",
and over in the corner, George Peppard's getting very pally with Sophia Loren.
All's going really well, until Jim Morrison decides he's bored out
of his skull, and wants to go home for an early night curled up with
a good book.
"Oi, Jim," objects Michael Caine, "party's just got started. How's
about I get one of 'the ladies' to take you into the spare bedroom
for a bit of the 'how's yer father?'" "Fair play," nods Jim [well
that's not his exact words, but you get the gist], "as long as she
does the rest of the band, too." "Not a problem, Jim," smiles
Michael, as he pulls a young dolly bird in close and whispers some
instructions in her ear. Half an hour later, the young lass is just
wiping her chin, when in walks Ringo Starr from the Beatles.
"Alright, luv?" he drones, "don't suppose you fancy extending that
service to me, do you?"
The young woman thinks about this for a second, then says "What the
hell!" and proceeds to unzip Ringo's fly and get to work. Ringo's
having a grand time, until, mere moments before the end, the door
opens and Michael Caine bursts in. He grabs the young one by the
back of the hair and slaps her hard across the face!
"Wh-what was that for?" she whimpers.
"I told you," Caine snarls.
(you're gonna love this) .......
(wait for it)
"You're only supposed to blow the ****** Doors
off...............!!!!!!!!!!!! !"
party in his s****y new house.
Everyone who's anyone is there - top stars from the worlds of movies and music, fashion and art.
There's a feed of pints, the best wines that money can buy, oysters,
champagne, Lennon and McCartney are helping themselves at the bar,
Jim Morrison and his band are sitting on the couch singing "Light My Fire",
and over in the corner, George Peppard's getting very pally with Sophia Loren.
All's going really well, until Jim Morrison decides he's bored out
of his skull, and wants to go home for an early night curled up with
a good book.
"Oi, Jim," objects Michael Caine, "party's just got started. How's
about I get one of 'the ladies' to take you into the spare bedroom
for a bit of the 'how's yer father?'" "Fair play," nods Jim [well
that's not his exact words, but you get the gist], "as long as she
does the rest of the band, too." "Not a problem, Jim," smiles
Michael, as he pulls a young dolly bird in close and whispers some
instructions in her ear. Half an hour later, the young lass is just
wiping her chin, when in walks Ringo Starr from the Beatles.
"Alright, luv?" he drones, "don't suppose you fancy extending that
service to me, do you?"
The young woman thinks about this for a second, then says "What the
hell!" and proceeds to unzip Ringo's fly and get to work. Ringo's
having a grand time, until, mere moments before the end, the door
opens and Michael Caine bursts in. He grabs the young one by the
back of the hair and slaps her hard across the face!
"Wh-what was that for?" she whimpers.
"I told you," Caine snarls.
(you're gonna love this) .......
(wait for it)
"You're only supposed to blow the ****** Doors
off...............!!!!!!!!!!!! !"
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