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just a couple
LITTLE OLD LADY In court
Defense Attorney: Will you please state your age?
Little Old Lady: I am 86 years old.
Defense Attorney: Will you tell us, in your own words, what happened the night of April 1st?
Little Old Lady: There I was, sitting there in my swing on my front porch on a warm spring evening, when a young man comes creeping up on the Porch and sat down beside me.
Defense Attorney: Did you know him?
Little Old Lady: No, but he sure was friendly.
Defense Attorney: What happened after he sat down?
Little Old Lady: He started to rub my thigh.
Defense Attorney: Did you stop him?
Little Old Lady: No, I didn't stop him.
Defense Attorney: Why not?
Little Old Lady: It felt good. Nobody had done that since my Abner died some 30 years ago.
Defense Attorney: What happened next?
Little Old Lady: He began to rub my breasts.
Defense Attorney: Did you stop him then?
Little Old Lady: No, I did not stop him.
Defense Attorney: Why not?
Little Old Lady: His rubbing made me feel all alive and excited. I haven't felt that good in years!
Defense Attorney: What happened next?
Little Old Lady: Well, by then, I was feeling really "spicy" so I just laid down and told him "Take me, young man. Take me!"
Defense Attorney: Did he take you?
Little Old Lady: Hell, no! He just yelled, "April Fool!" And that's when I shot the little b*%$"^d.’’
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A little boy came down for breakfast one morning and asked his grandma, "Where's mom and dad?" to which she replied, "They're up in bed."
The little boy started to giggle, ate his breakfast and went out to play. Then he came back in for lunch and asked his grandma, "Where's mom and dad?" and she replied, "They're still up in bed."
Again the little boy started to giggle, ate his lunch and went out to play. Then the little boy came in for dinner and once again he asked his grandma, "Where's mom and dad?"
His grandmother replied, "They're still up in bed."
The little boy started to laugh and his grandmother asked, "What gives? Every time I tell you they're still up in bed, you start to laugh! What is going on here?"
The little boy replied, "Well last night daddy came into my bedroom and asked me for the Vaseline, and I gave him super glue."
Defense Attorney: Will you please state your age?
Little Old Lady: I am 86 years old.
Defense Attorney: Will you tell us, in your own words, what happened the night of April 1st?
Little Old Lady: There I was, sitting there in my swing on my front porch on a warm spring evening, when a young man comes creeping up on the Porch and sat down beside me.
Defense Attorney: Did you know him?
Little Old Lady: No, but he sure was friendly.
Defense Attorney: What happened after he sat down?
Little Old Lady: He started to rub my thigh.
Defense Attorney: Did you stop him?
Little Old Lady: No, I didn't stop him.
Defense Attorney: Why not?
Little Old Lady: It felt good. Nobody had done that since my Abner died some 30 years ago.
Defense Attorney: What happened next?
Little Old Lady: He began to rub my breasts.
Defense Attorney: Did you stop him then?
Little Old Lady: No, I did not stop him.
Defense Attorney: Why not?
Little Old Lady: His rubbing made me feel all alive and excited. I haven't felt that good in years!
Defense Attorney: What happened next?
Little Old Lady: Well, by then, I was feeling really "spicy" so I just laid down and told him "Take me, young man. Take me!"
Defense Attorney: Did he take you?
Little Old Lady: Hell, no! He just yelled, "April Fool!" And that's when I shot the little b*%$"^d.’’
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A little boy came down for breakfast one morning and asked his grandma, "Where's mom and dad?" to which she replied, "They're up in bed."
The little boy started to giggle, ate his breakfast and went out to play. Then he came back in for lunch and asked his grandma, "Where's mom and dad?" and she replied, "They're still up in bed."
Again the little boy started to giggle, ate his lunch and went out to play. Then the little boy came in for dinner and once again he asked his grandma, "Where's mom and dad?"
His grandmother replied, "They're still up in bed."
The little boy started to laugh and his grandmother asked, "What gives? Every time I tell you they're still up in bed, you start to laugh! What is going on here?"
The little boy replied, "Well last night daddy came into my bedroom and asked me for the Vaseline, and I gave him super glue."