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12. Life is sexual1y transmitted.
11. Health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.
10. Men have two emotions: Hungry and Horny. If you see him without an erection, make him a sandwich.
9. Give a person a fish and you feed him for a day; teach a person to use the Internet and they won't bother you for weeks.
8. Some people are like Slinkies .... not really good for anything, but you can't help smiling when you see one tumble down the stairs.
7. Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing.
6. Whenever I start feeling blue, I start breathing again.
5. All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism.
4. Why does a slight tax increase cost you two hundred pounds and a substantial tax cut saves you thirty pence?
3. In the 60's people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world is weird and people take Prozac to make it normal.
2. Politics is supposed to be the second oldest profession. I have come to realize that it bears a very close resemblance to the first.
And the # 1 THOUGHT FOR THE DAY:
Most "illegal aliens" are reported to have come to the UK legally, but they then hang around on expired visas, some for as long as 10 to 15 years.
Now compare that to Blockbuster; if you are 2 days late with a video, those people are all over you like a fat boy on a doughnut. I think we should put Blockbuster in charge of immigration.
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