Helicopter Ride

[Draig]

Morris and his wife Esther went to the open-air fair every year, and every year Morris would say, "Esther, I'd like to ride in that helicopter."

Esther always replied, "I know, Morris, but that helicopter ride is 50 pounds, and 50 pounds is 50 pounds."

One year Esther and Morris went to the fair and Morris said, "Esther I'm 85 years old. If I don't ride that helicopter, I might never get another chance."

Esther replied, "Morris that helicopter is 50 pounds, and 50 pounds is 50 pounds.

The pilot overheard the couple and said, "Folks, I'll make you a deal. I'll take the both of you for a ride. If you can stay quiet for the entire ride and not say a word, I won't charge you. But if you say one word, it's 50 pounds."

Morris and Esther agreed, and up they went. The pilot did all kinds of fancy manoeuvres, but not a word was heard.

He did his daredevil tricks over and over again, but still not a word.

When they landed, the pilot turned to Morris and said, "By golly, I did everything I could to get you to yell out, but you didn't. I'm impressed!"

Morris replied, "Well, I was going to say something when Esther fell out, but 50 pounds is 50 pounds." </SPAN>

[Draig]

A young wife wants to surprise her husband with something a bit different. So she decides to have a butterfly tattooed on each buttock. When she gets to the tattooist, he says that he can't do butterflies very well but he's ace at bee's.
OK she says and the tattoos go on. When she gets home, she waits until bedtime, and when she has only her night dress on, she turns her back on him, bends over and whips up her nighty. "What do you think of that" she exclaims.
Husband looks for a while, then say's

"Who the **** is B O B"