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The aim of football, the 'goal' if you like, is to get kissed and cuddled by your team mates. This kissing, cuddling and frolicking on the ground only happens when you manage to get the relatively small ball into the inordinately large 'goals'. The only person able to stop this is the heterosexual goalkeper, he doesn't like watching the blatant homosexual displays on the pitch.
Also worth remembering is that goalies tend to wear proper clothing, whereas the others run around scantily clad, I assume to get more flesh contact whilst kissing.
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