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Humour injection for scousers.
A major earthquake measuring 7.8 on the Richter scale hit Liverpool in the
early hours of August 24th 2003. The epicentre was Huyton.
Casualties were seen wandering aimlessly saying "bang out of order",
"mental"
and "that did my head in". The earthquake decimated the area causing in
excess
of £17.55 worth of damage. Several priceless collections of mementos from
Ibiza
and Corfu were damaged beyond repair. Three preserved areas of historic
burned
out cars were disturbed. Many locals were woken before their giros arrived.
The local paper reported that hundreds of residents were confused and
bewildered. They are still trying to come to terms with the fact that the
damage was caused by something else instead of them.
One resident, Tracey Sharon Smith, a 15 year old mother of four said "It was
such a shock, little Chardonnay-Leigh came running through the cardboard
door
into my bedroom crying. My hands were shaking so much that I could hardly
skin
up when I was watching Trisha the next morning". Another local resident
known
as Macca said the earthquake would not stop him going to work, after all,
the
T.W.O.C'ing, Burglaries and Graffiti would not do themselves.
The British Red Cross has so far managed to ship 4,000 crates of Sunny
Delight
to the area to help with the crisis. Rescue workers were still searching
through rubble and have found large quantities of personal belongings which
include benefit books, jewellery from Elizabeth Dukes, bone china from
Poundstretcher and a number of Argos catalogues. However they were unable to
save any furniture from Crazy George's.
How can you help?
This appeal hopes to raise money for food and clothing parcels for those
unfortunate enough to be caught up in the disaster. Clothing is most sought
after. Most needed are Kappa or other tracksuits (his and hers), white socks
to
tuck the tracksuit bottoms into, Burberry caps, woolly Benny hats and Reebok
trainers. Primark clothing is most welcome. Food parcels are also needed.
They
include Mcains Micro-Chips, Aldi Beans, Monster Munch, Nutella chocolate
spread
and Iceland pizzas. Alcohol is also in short supply, mainly Lambrini, White
Lightning cider and Carlsberg Special Brew. Cash donations are also needed,
22p
buys a Bic Biro for signing on purposes, £1.50 buys cheese & chips and £26
buys
200 Regal from Tommo who has just got back from Kavos.
A major earthquake measuring 7.8 on the Richter scale hit Liverpool in the
early hours of August 24th 2003. The epicentre was Huyton.
Casualties were seen wandering aimlessly saying "bang out of order",
"mental"
and "that did my head in". The earthquake decimated the area causing in
excess
of £17.55 worth of damage. Several priceless collections of mementos from
Ibiza
and Corfu were damaged beyond repair. Three preserved areas of historic
burned
out cars were disturbed. Many locals were woken before their giros arrived.
The local paper reported that hundreds of residents were confused and
bewildered. They are still trying to come to terms with the fact that the
damage was caused by something else instead of them.
One resident, Tracey Sharon Smith, a 15 year old mother of four said "It was
such a shock, little Chardonnay-Leigh came running through the cardboard
door
into my bedroom crying. My hands were shaking so much that I could hardly
skin
up when I was watching Trisha the next morning". Another local resident
known
as Macca said the earthquake would not stop him going to work, after all,
the
T.W.O.C'ing, Burglaries and Graffiti would not do themselves.
The British Red Cross has so far managed to ship 4,000 crates of Sunny
Delight
to the area to help with the crisis. Rescue workers were still searching
through rubble and have found large quantities of personal belongings which
include benefit books, jewellery from Elizabeth Dukes, bone china from
Poundstretcher and a number of Argos catalogues. However they were unable to
save any furniture from Crazy George's.
How can you help?
This appeal hopes to raise money for food and clothing parcels for those
unfortunate enough to be caught up in the disaster. Clothing is most sought
after. Most needed are Kappa or other tracksuits (his and hers), white socks
to
tuck the tracksuit bottoms into, Burberry caps, woolly Benny hats and Reebok
trainers. Primark clothing is most welcome. Food parcels are also needed.
They
include Mcains Micro-Chips, Aldi Beans, Monster Munch, Nutella chocolate
spread
and Iceland pizzas. Alcohol is also in short supply, mainly Lambrini, White
Lightning cider and Carlsberg Special Brew. Cash donations are also needed,
22p
buys a Bic Biro for signing on purposes, £1.50 buys cheese & chips and £26
buys
200 Regal from Tommo who has just got back from Kavos.
calm down calm down!!!
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