F.A.O Koi or other mods. with special powers.

[sv1000spilot]

40,000 Americans are injured by toilets each year.

[BioHazard]

Tenacity is often advantageous to an organism. But combine tenacity with a lack of common sense and an excess of bravado, and the trait may prove deleterious.

An unprecedented ten inches of rainfall had flooded rivers over their banks. Stephan, 27, thought that this was the perfect time to tackle Big Piney Creek, a challenging whitewater run even at normal water levels. Dressed in overalls and a sweatsuit, and notably lacking a life vest, Stephan set out with three friends and two rafts "of the type obtained by sending in Marlboro cigarette packs."
Only a dose of common sense stood between Stephan and glory.
Enroute to the Big Piney put-in, the four men were stalled at a bridge over Indian Creek. The water was flowing 3 feet over the bridge, and they could not drive any further. A crowd of experienced whitewater paddlers had gathered there to pay respectful homage to the freakishly high water. This benevolent group implored the foolhardy party to desist. They warned the men that Indian Creek courses through two miles of dangerous willow jungle before joining Big Piney.
But the men would not listen to reason. They climbed into their lightweight rafts, put-in, and immediately capsized. Undeterred by continuing pleas from experienced paddlers, undaunted by the dunking, the men launched again. They managed to stay on the surface for 200 yards before capsizing downstream.
At this point, one man realized he was fighting a losing battle. He bowed out, and hiked back to the bridge. Two other men climbed back into their raft, and Stephan decided to venture onward solo in his raft. A half mile later, the flotilla had a close encounter with a tree across the stream, and both rafts capsized.
A search party located Stephan's body later that day.
In the final analysis, "these inexperienced and ill-prepared paddlers ignored warnings from a group of obviously knowledgeable paddlers. The absence of a life vest was probably the (second most) significant error." Despite warnings, despite seeing the cold water flowing menacingly over a bridge, and despite capsizing--Stephan chose to tackle this hazardous river. His tenacity was selected against, removing him from the gene pool. In conclusion,"Warning unprepared floaters can be unproductive, but it is worth a try."

[sv1000spilot]

Over 11,000 people are injured every year trying out new sexual positions.

[greecysurf]

URBAN LEGEND! The Arizona Highway Patrol were mystified when they came upon a pile of smoldering wreckage embedded in the side of a cliff rising above the road at the apex of a curve. The metal debris resembled the site of an airplane crash, but it turned out to be the vaporized remains of an automobile. The make of the vehicle was unidentifiable at the scene.

The folks in the lab finally figured out what it was, and pieced together the events that led up to its demise.
It seems that a former Air Force sergeant had somehow got hold of a JATO (Jet Assisted Take-Off) unit. JATO units are solid fuel rockets used to give heavy military transport airplanes an extra push for take-off from short airfields.
Dried desert lakebeds are the location of choice for breaking the world ground vehicle speed record. The sergeant took the JATO unit into the Arizona desert and found a long, straight stretch of road. He attached the JATO unit to his car, jumped in, accelerated to a high speed, and fired off the rocket.
The facts, as best as could be determined, are as follows:
The operator was driving a 1967 Chevy Impala. He ignited the JATO unit approximately 3.9 miles from the crash site. This was established by the location of a prominently scorched and melted strip of asphalt. The vehicle quickly reached a speed of between 250 and 300 mph and continued at that speed, under full power, for an additional 20-25 seconds. The soon-to-be pilot experienced G-forces usually reserved for dog-fighting F-14 jocks under full afterburners.
The Chevy remained on the straight highway for approximately 2.6 miles (15-20 seconds) before the driver applied the brakes, completely melting them, blowing the tires, and leaving thick rubber marks on the road surface. The vehicle then became airborne for an additional 1.3 miles, impacted the cliff face at a height of 125 feet, and left a blackened crater 3 feet deep in the rock.
Most of the driver's remains were not recovered; however, small fragments of bone, teeth, and hair were extracted from the crater, and fingernail and bone shards were removed from a piece of debris believed to be a portion of the steering wheel.

Ironically a still-legible bumper sticker was found, reading
"How do you like my driving? Dial 1-800-EAT-SHIT."







http://darwinawards.com/darwin/darwin1995-04.html

Now that i like, just goes to show, stupidity is alive and kicking.

[BioHazard]

Everyone does dumb things when they're kids. My dumbest decision was almost a life-altering event. At that time, caps were readily available. For the youngsters in the audience, caps are tiny explosive charges sold for use in toy guns. Squeeze the trigger and a striker hits the cap, making it explode.

I had a pack of caps that were individually 'printed' on adhesive-backed paper. Having experimented with using a hammer to detonate 'em, in true dumb-kid fashion I moved on to super-size it. I stacked the caps an inch and a half high, knelt down on the sidewalk and hit the stack with a 2-pound ball-peen hammer.
The resulting explosion kicked the hammer back clear to my shoulder, missing my fragile young face by inches. No harm except for a bruise on the shoulder and ringing ears, but an alarming near miss none the less. Sometimes I wonder how any human male survives childhood.

[evildwarf]

Now that i like, just goes to show, stupidity is alive and kicking.

and kicking on this thread

[sv1000spilot]

Everyone does dumb things when they're kids. My dumbest decision was almost a life-altering event. At that time, caps were readily available. For the youngsters in the audience, caps are tiny explosive charges sold for use in toy guns. Squeeze the trigger and a striker hits the cap, making it explode.

I had a pack of caps that were individually 'printed' on adhesive-backed paper. Having experimented with using a hammer to detonate 'em, in true dumb-kid fashion I moved on to super-size it. I stacked the caps an inch and a half high, knelt down on the sidewalk and hit the stack with a 2-pound ball-peen hammer.
The resulting explosion kicked the hammer back clear to my shoulder, missing my fragile young face by inches. No harm except for a bruise on the shoulder and ringing ears, but an alarming near miss none the less. Sometimes I wonder how any human male survives childhood.

[BioHazard]

If you cut the rug on an oil tank, be careful not to light a cigarette, else you may soon be climbing the proverbial "Stairway to Heaven". After smoking marijuana and liquoring themselves up at a popular party spot in Routt National Forest, a group of teens decided that it would be fun to leap and cavort on an oil tank.

The energetic gyrations of the dancers caused fumes to leak from the relief valve, and "there were several ignitions sources," according to the sheriff. People were smoking, and there was a bonfire nearby. One of these ignition source sparked a "flashdance" and the crude oil storage tank exploded, hurling two men 150 yards to their deaths. The deceased were identified as Samuel and Christopher, 17 and 19.

[BioHazard]

Welcome to Sweden. Home of Swedish massage, Swedish cuckoos, and one Swedish meatball who decided to warm himself in an industrial strength oven. The incident took place in freezing February at a facility operated by a maker of kitchen cabinets and fixtures (Ballingsl'v.)

The heating system in the loading area had ceased to function, leaving a shivering truck driver defenseless against the frigid winter. Looking to escape the cold, this driver wandered toward the shrink-wrap oven and asked the operator if he could take a spin on the conveyor belt to get warm.
Although the driver was freezing his umlaut off, the operator hard-heartedly denied the man's request. Undaunted, the driver waited until no one was looking and managed to hoist himself onto the conveyor belt for a blissful toasty ride. But all those Swedish meatballs took their toll. The massive (cough) trucker was too heavy for the belt and the motor shut down, leaving him stuck in the 360-degree oven. Luckily, the oven operator noticed the stoppage and was able to drag the man out of the searing heat before he sustained serious injuries--except, perhaps, an industrial-strength tan. Following the incident, Sweden's Work Environment Authority offered the oven operator counseling to work through the shock he suffered, and intends to carry out a risk assessment of surveillance around the shrink ovens. Apparently they are too tempting to leave unguarded.

[sv1000spilot]

Every year, over 8800 people injure themselves with a toothpick.

[sv1000spilot]

Two West German motorists suffered a head-on collision in heavy fog near the small town of Guetersloh. Each was driving slowly near the center of the road, and at the moment of impact their heads were both out of the windows. Both men were hospitalized with severe head injuries. Their cars weren't scratched.

[sv1000spilot]

The average cost of rehabilitating a seal after the ExxonValdez oil spill in Alaska was $80,000. At a special ceremony, two of the most expensively saved animals were released back into the wild amid cheers and applause from onlookers. A minute later, in full view, they were both eaten by a killer whale.

[MattF]

No one knows why, but 90 percent of women who walk into a department store immediately turn to the right.

Wonder if anyone's ever put a clear perspex panel just to the right of the entrance for amusement value?

[sv1000spilot]

A car's instrument panel is called a dashboard. The term dates back to horse-and-buggy days when dashing horses kicked up mud, splashing the passengers riding behind them. The dashboard was devised to protect them.

[sv1000spilot]

Wonder if anyone's ever put a clear perspex panel just to the right of the entrance for amusement value?