worlds dumbest criminals

[dieselboy]

last night at 4am, i got woken up by some people making some noise in the corner of my neighbors garden.
im fed up of people coming round and damaging things etc, so i quickly shoved some clothes on, went out the back of my house and jumped over our wall (so they didnt know where i came from) but by the time i got out they had cleared off. i could see some curtain twitchers when i had a nose, so they probably see them and left.
the only people walking around at 4am are dodgy people, unless its saturday or sunday morning then it might be party people

i have loads of stories about stupid people getting up to no good. has anyone else got any funnies?

there was a police chase along the road at the end of ours, and the drunk driver somehow crashed into the curb (sump etc hit the corner of the curb)

and he got out and tried to run off but the police went at him with battons raised etc.. he kept shouting what have i done!? and one copper shouted 'driving while your pi**ed!'

[BUSHWHACKER]

Maybe the curtain twitchers will now think it was you prowling around at 4am.

[dieselboy]

crap never thought of that

[Chillitt]

I had a scirocco, years ago... It was broken into and the stereo got nicked. Thats not unusual...
Shortly after that, and before the new stereo went in, I had to replace the CV joints, so I stripped the front suspension out, and redid all the bushes at the same time. The car sat there, empty, with no wheels, cos they were away being refinished, and no suspension either, glove box was open and empty, boot was empty and without the load cover. It was obviously empty, and undriveable. Someone spent ages trying to dig round the lock plates I had just fitted, then prised to tops of both doors out to get in that way. They did 1100 quids worth of damage for no reason what soever. Very odd, but it was in Yorkshire.. Once the insurance had resprayed it and all the new bits went on it was lovely....

[BUSHWHACKER]

I had a scirocco, years ago... It was broken into and the stereo got nicked. Thats not unusual...
Shortly after that, and before the new stereo went in, I had to replace the CV joints, so I stripped the front suspension out, and redid all the bushes at the same time. The car sat there, empty, with no wheels, cos they were away being refinished, and no suspension either, glove box was open and empty, boot was empty and without the load cover. It was obviously empty, and undriveable. Someone spent ages trying to dig round the lock plates I had just fitted, then prised to tops of both doors out to get in that way. They did 1100 quids worth of damage for no reason what soever. Very odd, but it was in Yorkshire.. Once the insurance had resprayed it and all the new bits went on it was lovely....

Maybe it was the previous owner after the cash he had secreted into the headlining.
Do you know where the car is now?

[Chillitt]

Maybe it was the previous owner after the cash he had secreted into the headlining.
Do you know where the car is now?

Yeah, same place as all my other old cars.....

[dieselboy]

i had someone break into an old car i was using as a donor car.

the battery was flat and it had no carburettor!

[Leodis]

When I was managing a pub in Holbeck (very iffy part of Leeds). I had a scirrocco went to get something from the car and forgot to take the keys from the door lock. 2 weeks later bloke in the garage next to the carpark came in the pub to tell me I'd left the keys there can't believe no one had touched it.

[Dixie.t]

backstory: a few years ago i used to own a ford it had tinted windows and i was living up north and working in "London".

so 9am start working till 2am, i thought about driving home and with it being 2 hour driving i thought better of it and so i got in the back and locked the doors went to sleep for a few hours, i was awoken by a low voice(and so on that the lock was a problem) and scratching around my car, i didnt think too much about it till the drivers door opened, i waited till he had sat down and was closing the door. before shouting "Your in for it" the look of fear on this kids face was a kodac moment, he tried to get out at the same time as still trying to close the door and about knock him self out in the process, followed by me helping him out of my car with a foot.

The Cops informed me that he was 16 and would be tried as an adult due to this not being his first car theft, turns out he's got a run of bad luck in getting busted in the act.

[Vagrant No2]

Some PIkeys tried to nick a car from down the village . They tried tow starting it for ages before abandoning it .
It turned out it would not start because the owner had removed the cylinder head earlier that day to change the haed gasket !!
Thick Pikeys as usual.

[dieselboy]

backstory: a few years ago i used to own a ford it had tinted windows and i was living up north and working in "London".

so 9am start working till 2am, i thought about driving home and with it being 2 hour driving i thought better of it and so i got in the back and locked the doors went to sleep for a few hours, i was awoken by a low voice(and so on that the lock was a problem) and scratching around my car, i didnt think too much about it till the drivers door opened, i waited till he had sat down and was closing the door. before shouting "Your in for it" the look of fear on this kids face was a kodac moment, he tried to get out at the same time as still trying to close the door and about knock him self out in the process, followed by me helping him out of my car with a foot.

The Cops informed me that he was 16 and would be tried as an adult due to this not being his first car theft, turns out he's got a run of bad luck in getting busted in the act.

this is funny!! you think people would just not bother!

[da SLUG man]

my mates next door neighbout didn't see me sitting in the car when she started writing on the frosty windows!!

she SHIT herself when i opened the door!!