happy christmas everyone please read

[Antshiel]

and a very happy 5 year old thread to you all to

Oh well, Merry christmas to all and a prosperous 2005, i mean 2009!!

[RodLeach]

Humbug!!








Happy Christmas to everyone except that bloke who complained about being wished a happy christmas an Mattf the dildo!







Only joking! Happy Xmas Matt!

[surfenstein]

oh well rather than start a new thread.
MERRY XMAS
AND A
HAPPY NEW YEAR
TO EVERYONE
FROM
THE STEIN AND SHIRLSTER.

[daithediver]

Have a good one ,hope next year has a bit less doom and gloom.MERRY CHRISTMAS AND A HAPPY NEW YEAR.

[Diezel Weazel]

To all our Forum Dudes n Dudette friends ..
We wish ya a Merry a Happy New year n Good Luck for 2009 ...
Jess n Zenda

There's always a Payback .... Just don't expect any warning !!!!

[That Ruddy Squirrel]

Merry xmas everyone,

Have a Happy new Year

[joker??]

happy xmas everyone from val & dave

[JUDWAK]

eerrm merry christmas dudes and dudetts

[GRASSMAN]

Happy Xmas, and a Merry new year.
I'm NOT pi55ed yet!!! LOL

G.Man

[si tate]

BARR HUMBUG...







































Only joking, MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE

[div3r]

Why Santa doesn't exist

No known species of reindeer can fly. BUT there are 300,000 species of living organisms yet to be classified, and while most of these are insects and germs, this does not COMPLETELY preclude the existence flying reindeer, which only Santa has ever seen.

There are 2 billion children (persons under 18) in the world. BUT since Santa doesn't appear to handle the Muslim, Hindu, Jewish and Buddhist children, that reduces the workload to 15% of the total - 378 million according to the Population Reference Bureau. At an average (census) rate of 3.5 children per household, that's 91.8 million homes to visit. One presumes there is at least one good child in each.

Santa has 31 hours of Christmas to complete his mission, thanks to the different time zones and the rotation of the earth. Assuming he travels east to west (which seems logical). This works out to 822.6 visits per second. This is to say that for each Christian household with good children, Santa has 1/1000th of a second to park, hop out of the sleigh, jump down the chimney, fill the stockings, distribute the remaining presents under the tree, eat whatever snacks have been left, get back up the chimney, get back into the sleigh and move on to the next house.

Assuming that each of these 91.8 millions stops are evenly distributed around the earth (which, of course, we know to be false but for the purposes of our calculations we will accept), we are now talking about .78 miles between household, a total trip of 75.5 million miles, not counting stops to do what most of us must do at least once every 31 hours, plus feeding and watering etc. This means that Santa's sleigh is moving at 650 miles per second, 3,000 times the speed of sound. For purposes of comparison, the fastest man-made vehicle is the Ulysses space probe, which moves at a pokey 27.4 miles per second - a conventional reindeer (the ones we know about) can run, tops, 15 miles per hour.

The payload on the sleigh adds another interesting element. If we assume that each child gets nothing more than a medium-sized Lego set (2 pounds), the sleigh would now be carrying 321,300 tons of cargo, not counting Santa, who is invariably described as overweight.

On land, conventional reindeer can pull no more than 300 pounds. Even allowing for "flying reindeer" (see paragraph 1) and even if they could pull TEN TIMES the normal amount, we cannot do the job with eight, or even nine. We need 214,200 reindeer. This increases the payload - not even counting the weight of the sleigh - to 353,430 tons. Again, for comparison - this is four times the weight of the Queen Elizabeth II (the ship, not the monarch).

353,000 tons accelerating to 650 miles per second from a standing start creates enormous forces and air resistance - this will heat the reindeer up in the same fashion as spacecraft re-entering the earth's atmosphere. The lead pair of reindeer will absorb 14.3 QUINTILLION joules of energy, per second each. In short, they will burst into flame almost instantaneously, causing a cascade effect to the reindeer behind them, which in turn would create deafening sonic booms in their wake. The entire reindeer team would be vaporised within 4.26 thousandths of a second or around the time Santa would be approaching the 5th house.

Santa, meanwhile, would have been subjected to enormous forces (Newton's Third Law ) 17,500.06 times greater than the force of gravity. A 250-pound Santa (which seems ludicrously slim) would have been pinned to the back of his sleigh by 4,315,015 pounds of force, crushing his bones and reducing him to a jellyfied gibbering mass. In conclusion - If Santa ever DID exist, he's unlikely to have survived his first mission and can at best only be described as missing in action. I think any coroner worth his salt would have described this as death by misadventure.

Not withstanding the above and with out prejudice, I would still like some presents.

Merry Christmas & a Happy Newyear to one and all

Credits
Anonymous

[Growler]

Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year to one and all

[roylittle0]

Merry xmas everyone,

Have a Happy new Year

[steve s]

merry christmas to everyone and a happy new year

[ALZ]

Its Christmas

Merry Christmas and a happy new year fellow Surfers.